Remember The Life

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“Life does not cease to be funny when people die

any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.”

George Bernard Shaw

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Wish I’d known that when I was nine.

Today’s funeral, in remembering the life of the deceased, is often as full of laughter as it is full of tears.

The sharing of memories at the funeral affirms the worth we have placed on the deceased, and in doing so legitimises our feelings. There is great value in sharing the significance of the person who has died - that we find consolation in the knowledge that they were also important to others, and that their life made a difference.

There is no doubt that knowing how valued their loved one was by the wider community brings consolation to the family. Listening to tributes from others, whether as a formal part of the funeral service, or as part of the story-telling at the “after-match function” helps the bereaved to remember with a smile.

Once again, group participation in the funeral helps us to gain a comprehensive picture of the person who has died, as each of us are different things to different people.

There is value in the celebratory, life-appreciation part of the funeral. Commemorating a life in eulogy, music, photographs, and other things of meaning to the deceased makes the funeral a unique tribute to a unique person. We are acknowledging not just the life and achievements of the deceased, but the importance of that life to those closest, and the significance of the loss to them.

To heal in grief we need to move our relationship with the deceased from the physical realm to the realm of memory. The funeral has value therefore when it invites us to share our own memories of the deceased, and to focus on our past relationship with them.

Personalisation of the funeral can also provide a source for later reflection. Recordings and slideshows can be a physical memento or keepsake – a lasting and tangible memory.

Personalisation of the funeral doesn’t mean the same thing for everyone. The degree and form of personalisation is as diverse and varied as people are themselves.

Remember the life, remember the differences.